During our brief visit to the Riley Festival in Greenfield, IN I saw this sign. Hmmmm, maybe this is a way to fund my IRA. I need some friends who are looking for cheap tattoos who will let me practice on them. Any takers?
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Almond: n. ( am mund ) Tasty tree born nut, raised with love and care by the Blue Diamond folks n Modesto, California.
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Torturellini: n. Food based on tortellini, but so spicy it burns your mouth.
Here's the story: Ann had some leftover cheese tortellini that she wisely planned to warm up for the kids' lunch. The kids, who normally are decent eaters, didn't express over the top enthusiasm for the menu. But once Ann had added a left over jar of spaghetti sauce, covered the whole thing with mozzarella, put it under the broiler to get bubbly, and it's lovely aroma began to fill the kitchen, five little hearts took notice. Now it was all, "I'll have it." "Smells great." "Is it ready yet." You know the drill.
So Ann pulled it out and gave Alia the first serving. She piled a fork full and popped it in her mouth. As soon as the fork undocked from her face, she began to yell, squeal, dance about, cry, and through a mouthful of tortellini scream, "It's spicy! AAAHHhhhhh! It's burning my mouth." Bit's of pasta flicked and dribbled from her scorched tongue.
After unsuccessfully trying to convince Alia to settle down because there was no way the tortellini could be spicy, Ann began to investigate. Turned out that the spaghetti sauce was in fact chili paste, left over from a dinner weeks ago in which the main dish was sufficiently seasoned by a single teaspoon! The pasta was tentatively sampled by the other kids who quickly reached consensus that it was inedible.
Hearing this account upon my return home from work, I redubbed the food Torturelini, diluted the spiciness wtih a big can of certified spaghetti sauce and finished it for my lunch of the next two days.
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Joke Insurance
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Silver Crime n.-Offenses committed by the elderly. Usage: " a group of well to do pensioners who lost their savings in the credit crunch staged an arthritic revenge attack and held their terrified financial advisers to ransom in the latest example of what is being dubbed 'silver crime'- the violent backlash of pensioners who feel cheated by the world". -- Times of London, June 24, 2009Don't dis the grandma, and hide the silver when she comes for dinner!This new word came to me courtesy of my friend, Rahul Padmanabhan.
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A couple of weeks ago, my pal Tim in southern Illinois invited me for an aerial spin in his powered parachute. Cool doesn't begin to describe it, and I shot photos like Ansel Adams hopped up on espresso and diet pills. (Sorry, Ansel.)
At a break in one snapping frenzy, I noticed the tire pictured below. It's been a part of every flight Tim has taken, but really only participates in a meaningful way for a tiny percentage of the time, and not at all during the cool flying part. But even participating so little, it is essential. No lowly tire, no cool flying. ***Sappy spiritual lesson alert*** Maybe you feel like you don't contribute very much. Two possibilities: 1. You don't recognize your essential role because it doesn't look like others' roles or isn't as flashy as you wish, or just serves to get someone else's vision off the ground. Whatever, don't underestimate what you bring to the table. Ask someone for an objective read on your contribution. Me for starters, if you wish. I'll shoot straight with you. 2. Or, maybe you're right: You're not contributing very much! Dang, that stings. Get off the wheel barrow and get yourself on a powered parachute! If you need ideas, again, ask me. I know of about 18 powered parachutes that could use a tire.Comments [0]
Let's define "bear shaving" as the efforts we go to do deal with the symptoms of a problem instead of addressing the cause of the problem. A rare Japanese PSA (now long lost to the copyright gods) showed a girl shaving a bear so it could deal with global warming (here's a lesser one)... Example: putting a sophisticated queue management system into the Department of Motor Vehicles so that people waiting in line feel like it's less of a mob. This is bear shaving. The productive approach would be to redefine what actually happens in that building so the line itself disappears. Example: iPhones come locked so they can't be used with other carriers, so people spend hours and plenty of money to 'unlock' them. That's bear shaving. Better to figure out an easy way to pay AT&T their tribute so they can be truly unlocked... Example: You have emotional issues associated with eating. You shave the bear by getting bariatric surgery instead of dealing with the issue that caused the problem in the first place. Example: You have a leaky roof and you shave the bear by buying buckets. Step one to eliminating bear shaving: call it when you see it.Bear shaving
(Thanks to Seth Godin)
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